Donnaleigh's Tarot

"When will I meet my soul mate?"

The question is asked as if  waiting to be rescued and completed and fulfilled by meeting this mystery person, as if we ourselves have nothing to do with creating a partnership. "When will it come to me?"

It's a good thing we don't wait for the groceries to appear on our table in the same way.

In so many tarot and psychic  readings, the big question is, "When will I meet my soul mate?" People seem to feel they have not fulfilled their life purpose until they have met another piece of themselves. "Some 'one' must be out there for me." One. They are looking for their purpose, feeling unfulfilled until the connection with an outside "other" is made.

And they lived happily ever after....

However it is not in finding a mate that you will define your soul purpose. Nor should another person fulfill you in a way only you can fulfill yourself.  No one can give you what you can give yourself. Your journey here is on learning how to fill yourself up so that you can give back. It is not all meant to be taken, gathered, collected. We are meant to give.

"Soul purpose" has nothing to do with finding a love partner in most lives. It has to do with what YOU will bring to the world. Don't wait for something or someone to come to you. Rather, bring yourself to the world.

How can YOU change the world? How can YOU raise its vibration? How can YOU self-improve? How can you fill yourself up, not in a narcisistic way or selfish way, but in a way of knowledge and self-development so that you clearly understand what you have brought to the world and what you can give?

A part of you does not live outside yourself, so there is no lost jigsaw puzzle piece to find to fit you. All of you lives within yourself. The goal is to let your inner light shine out,so that more people than you can experience your gifts. If no one tends to a garden, weeds will grow and the harvest will weaken or fail. But if you tend  to the garden, and you fertilize and weed this garden -- which is our world -- the harvest will be bigger, better, healthier, wider-spread than without your presence. But finding your so-called "soul partner" isn't the key. Growing yourself....is. The rest will follow. The so-called "soul partner" is just another "garden."

Is there such a thing as a soul mate?

There are people we click with, and people we do not. Too often, we accept anyone or anything that is before us because we think nothing else is available to us. The goal to compatible partnership is to find someone of similar values who will bring quality, respect and communication.  Frequently, what I see in readings are women who are pursued by a man they instinctively know is not respecting them to their highest potential, yet they feel that because they are being pursued that it was "meant to be." Well, yes, it was "meant to be," but as part of your culling process, weeding the garden, to learn your life lesson on how you define yourself and what you create around your personal world. What we create around our immediate self is also what we bring to the world. Because we each bring a set of patterns to our lives. Nothing we do is out of the sphere of what we tend to do on a wider scale.

In marketing for our spirtual businesses, we learn to raise our price tag to express our true worth. The world is the great environment of marketing ourselves personally as well, but for more than monetary gain. In relationships, still remember to "raise your price tag."  Know that when something comes to you and it is not a good fit, honor it and respect yourself enough to raise the bar of acceptance, in whatever means you need to make that happen. Putting up with someone's bad behavior is a silent "yes" to allow permission for them to keep doing it. Use your voice, use your will center, use your life to create positive growth. After all, life does not just happen. We mold it.

 When you complete what you need within yourself, something magical will happen. A person with a higher vibration will come because you will have raised your own understanding of what you will expect. Your bar will be raised, your price tag will be higher, and someone with great respect will come to you, because you will respect yourself and allow nothing less.

So what is a Soul Mate, then?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "soul mate" as:

1 : a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament

2 : a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs

What does this tell us? Is does not tell us there is only "one" person in the world suited to us and that we are on a mad hunt to find the single soul that matches ours. It DOES tell us that we should resemble each other in attitudes or beliefs.

If we are being disrespected in a relationship and we expect better from that person if we seal the relationship and make it permanent...what does this tell us about ourselves and our own ideals? Would you go to a church if you were looking for a temple?

If we accept that we are being treated less than we would treat another, what does this tell our partner about our beliefs about our own self-value? Worse yet, what does it tell our own self?

However, if we raise expectations of ourselves, we raise our expectations on what we allow in and what we receive. How high is your bar? How high is your value?

Perfection

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary's definition itself holds unrealistic goals. In the first definition is one word that today's culture expects and then we rightly frustrate ourselves searching, because it does not exist. Perfection. The word "perfectly suited" is mentioned in the definition. There is no "perfect" person, so two imperfect puzzle pieces cannot create a "perfect" fit. However, there can be a comfortable fit and a good match, and that is what we should seek, not perfection.

Can this be found in more than one person? Yes.

When will you find it?

Easy. When you find yourself.

What do you bring to the picture?

We spend a lot of time worrying about what another person will bring to us, while spending comparatively less time considering what we will bring to another person. If we are incomplete and have not tended to our own garden well, we will have little fruit to bring to another person. It is not only what we receive, it is also what we give. If you meet someone unfulfilling, it is because they have not tended to their own garden yet. The ideals are set low, and there will be an imbalance in the energy of the relationship.

Likewise, If we have little to give to another because we have been more outward-focused than inward focused, what will another person receive from us? We will bring down their vibration, their energy, their joy. An imbalance of what is brought to a relationship causes frustration by one person perpetually trying to bring the other person up. Rather than raise us to a higher level, we feel pulled downward.

What do you have to bring to a relationship? Have you found the own soul partner relationship within yourself yet? Have you nurtured your inner growth so that you will match the person that you find who will fit your ideals? What will you expect of a person in a relationship? Has that even been defined yet? Do you know what you expect in a partner?

Soul Self

The first soul partner we must find is that one within ourselves. Because while we can lift each other to a higher level , if we do not build ourselves, we will pull another down. Create the balance, create yourself, know what your borders and limits are, work toward growth and creation,  and use your voice to cull the weeds.  Discussion within a relationship is one way to cull the weeds. Creating borders as to what you will expect for treatment is another way. Acceptance or denial of personal treatment is another way to let the weeds grow or pluck them out.  Kind treatment and love is the Miracle Grow of life but we also must tend to the garden's other needs. You are the garden. What will you let in? The garden will not just grow of its own accord. The weak fruit of a poorly grown garden will not "feed you"  to contentedness.

Too many of us are "random gardeners." We let grow there whatever falls, with little tending to what is there or removal of negative influences. If a bird randomly drops a seed and it grows, we see a small plant in isolation, and no one is there to bear the fruit.There are too many dropped-seed gardens in the world, and  it is no wonder people are frustrated because they do not know what they are, who they are, or what they  want.

Let your garden flourish, cultivate your inner soul, and when the soul mate comes, the fit will be of high quality, because you have raised the scales of balance by what you bring, what you can give,  and what you will accept.

So don't look for the single soul mate. Create your soul mate by what you allow in yourself and in your life. Because the power of your magnet will depend on the quality of your energy.

Wishing you a gentle journey,

Donnaleigh

www.DivineWhispers.net

Connecting you with Spirit...one Whisper at a Time